What's the story behind the story? What inspired you to write Unshrink Yourself: 12 Mini-Shifts to Ditch Self-Doubt and Own Your Life?
I wrote Unshrink Yourself because I spent years shrinking myself without even realizing it. As a young woman who immigrated to the U.S. alone at 16—and later became an engineer, a VP, and now a leadership coach and professor—I learned that the biggest battles people face aren’t external at all. They’re internal.
The moment I knew this book needed to exist was when I began coaching professionals and saw the same pattern over and over again: brilliant, capable people holding themselves back because of one thing—self-doubt. I realized confidence isn’t a gift reserved for a lucky few; it’s a skill we can build, one small shift at a time. And that truth became the heart of this book.
If you had to pick theme songs for the main characters of Unshrink Yourself: 12 Mini-Shifts to Ditch Self-Doubt and Own Your Life, what would they be?
We actually do have theme songs for this book! The first one is “It’s Time to Unshrink Yourself,” which captures the spirit of stepping into your courage and owning who you are: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9DtWOnMHIY.
The second is “The World Doesn’t Need a Smaller You or I,” a gentle reminder that our light is meant to shine, not shrink: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X57YahUtPDM.
Both songs beautifully express the heart of the book and the journey I hope readers will take.
What's your favorite genre to read? Is it the same as your favorite genre to write?
My favorite genre to read is anything that helps me elevate my leadership, strengthen my confidence, and live a more positive and joyful life. I’m drawn to books that are rooted in service, authenticity, and personal growth. And yes—this is the same genre I love to write in. Writing in this space allows me to share what I’ve learned, uplift others, and hopefully help people step into the fullest version of themselves.
What books are on your TBR pile right now?
I’m grateful for Professor Frances Frei from Harvard Business School, who recently shared a powerful recommended reading list on LinkedIn. I’ve read many of the books she mentioned, and the following titles are now on my TBR list:
- Burn Book by Kara Swisher — Tech’s power elite explained from the inside. Sharp, candid, and important.
- Epic Disruptions by Scott D. Anthony — A thoughtful look at radical change—past, present, and future.
- Hidden Potential by Adam Grant — A beautiful invitation to raise our aspirations and exceed expectations—from someone who both studies and embodies the work.
- How to Be Bold by Ranjay Gulati — Courage by design, written by a truly worldly professor.
- Leadership Unblocked by Muriel Maignan Wilkins — A mindset-shifting guide from one of the coaches I deeply admire.
- Make Work Fair by Iris Bohnet and Siri Chilazi — A compelling call to create more equitable workplaces.
- Notes on Being a Man by Scott Galloway — A love letter to healthy masculinity—meaningful for boys and their parents.
- Pioneers by Neri Karra Sillaman — A powerful blend of research and lived experience on building resilient businesses.
These books inspire me because they align deeply with my own work in positive leadership, courage, and human-centered growth. I can’t wait to dive in.
What scene in your book was your favorite to write?
My favorite scene to write was the moment I realized I had been carrying a stack of handwritten notes from a group of students I once gave a keynote to—notes I’d held onto for more than ten years, carried across 3,500 miles and through two house moves. Their words were so kind and genuine, yet for years I tucked those notes away because I couldn’t fully accept their compliments. A part of me felt undeserving, as if their encouragement was meant for someone more confident, more accomplished—someone “not me.” Writing that scene allowed me to see myself with compassion. It revealed how often we shrink not because others doubt us, but because we doubt ourselves. Capturing that moment on the page felt like naming the invisible weight I had carried for so long—and finally setting it down.
Do you have any quirky writing habits? (lucky mugs, cats on laps, etc.)
I do. And it’s less about mugs or rituals and more about timing. I’ve learned to write the moment something moves me. If a thought, a story, or a lesson sparks something in my heart, I stop and capture it right then. It might be in a parking lot, between meetings, or in the quiet of early morning, but I’ve found that the emotion is purest in the moment it arrives. Writing immediately helps me preserve the feeling, the insight, and the impact before life sweeps it away.
Do you have a motto, quote, or philosophy you live by?
Yes. I live by Viktor Frankl’s reminder: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” And with this book, I carry another truth close to my heart: “The world doesn’t need a smaller you or I.”
If you could choose one thing for readers to remember after reading your book, what would it be?
If readers remember only one thing after reading Unshrink Yourself, I hope it's this: “The world doesn’t need a smaller you or a smaller me. Unshrink Yourself.” Because when we stop dimming our brilliance, doubting our worth, or waiting for permission, we finally step into the life we were meant to live—and the world becomes better for it.
