What’s the story behind the story? What inspired you to write Life and How to Live it: Near Wild Heaven?
I started writing my memoir series in 2019 after I watched my sister, who was battling cancer, pass away in hospice care. She had an aggressive form of cancer that was diagnosed in February and took her at the age of 45 just four months later. I made it to her deathbed with just minutes to spare to see her gasping for breath and then passing on. It was something that took a toll on me. I had a moment of clarity that night while drowning my sorrows in some beers and knew I had to get my and my sister’s story of our rough childhoods out there.
We grew up in some unique circumstances. We were born into poverty due to the actions of our parents. Our father had been a heroin addict since he was 17, which led to our financial situation, and our mother, who dropped out of high school in the 10th grade in the 1960s, married my father, knowing he was a drug addict and had two kids with him anyway. This led to our family living in a rough, poverty-filled section of our home city of Philadelphia called Kensington for most of our childhoods and teen years. We had drug dealers and gangs on most corners, and violent crime was a bit of the norm for me growing up.
With all that going on, my mom, who was in over her head with my dad’s actions and living in such rotten conditions, found comfort in the evangelical born-again Christian faith and dragged my sister into her faith, which demanded conformity and cut us off from secular things like music and most TV and movies that didn’t glorify Jesus. I experienced both extremes in my upbringing, and it left me at a disadvantage trying to navigate life when I got old enough to leave the faith I was raised in and enter the big, bad world with no money and a horrible education from all the years of born-again Christian schooling I had. It was basically like being homeschooled, but in church instead.
The two things that saved me, or helped me through my darkest hours, were the friends I made who were like family and my love of popular music of the time, especially the music of the bands R.E.M. and Tori Amos. I published the first installment of my memoir in 2024, Life and How to Live It: Begin the Begin, and at the end of that one is how I left the Christian church behind at the age of 17 to fend for myself after a mental health breakdown. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was going through PTSD after a life of chaos.
This volume is called Life and How to Live It: Near Wild Heaven, and it picks up right where the first ended. This one is more about how I was dealing with the mental anguish from life and trying to find myself again. It is full of stories of the times I tried to make sense of life, survive, and keep joy and hope alive. In the meantime, I experience some good moments, like seeing R.E.M. live for the first time and falling into teenage love, but also some horrendous times when I meet people who are toxic, leave mental scars on me, and bring on more demons.
This one is set in the years 1995 and 1996, when the events took place. It ends on a cliffhanger moment of my life, much like the first one did, which will be continued in the next installment that is being edited as we speak.
If you had to pick theme songs for the main characters of Life and How to Live it: Near Wild Heaven, what would they be?
Since it’s a memoir, the main character is me. I take the titles for the book series from my favorite band, R.E.M. The series title is from the song “Life and How to Live It,” and every volume has a subtitle from another R.E.M. song. This one is “Near Wild Heaven.” I think those two would be the main theme songs for it, and since it’s set in the mid-1990s, I would throw in the Smashing Pumpkins song from that period, “1979,” as well.
What’s your favorite genre to read? Is it the same as your favorite genre to write?
I like to read science fiction and dystopian stories. Kurt Vonnegut is probably my favorite author.
What books are on your TBR pile right now?
Patti Smith’s Bread of Angels: A Memoir is my next read.
What scene in your book was your favorite to write?
My favorite scene was about seeing R.E.M. for the first time in my life. They were such an important band for me growing up, and I still love them to this day. It was fun to relive the excitement I had seeing them live four times in one month in 1995, and even more exciting when I got to meet two of the members after a show in Philly.
Do you have a motto, quote, or philosophy you live by?
I have a bit of a moral compass that only comes from a life shattered by addiction, extreme religion, and meeting people I like to call “pieces of shit.” My motto is: Don’t get addicted to anything that will take you over, don’t fall for any religion without proof, don’t be a total piece of shit, and keep going.
If you could choose one thing for readers to remember after reading your book, what would it be?
I hope readers will witness the human spirit that never gives up, even when it makes sense to. I hope it’s an example of the will to find something better and to never give up. I also hope readers will be entertained by all the stories and strange situations I found myself in.
Chaz Holesworth is the author of the new book Life and How to Live it: Near Wild Heaven
Connect with Chaz Holesworth
Author Site
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